elephants

You know the saying, “There is an elephant in the room, and no one is talking about it”, or such like.

Well I have an elephant, and it’s been in the room constantly since about May, and I’ve been trying to ignore said elephant for a good part of that time, or find ways round elephant so I can still do most things, however, the elephant is not for moving – not at the moment anyway.

Depression is the elephant, and it’s been my constant companion for months, and is not showing much signs of wandering off any time soon.

I’ve done the avoidance things, of pearing down what I have to do to feel more comfortable then I can continue with most of the things of life, and I’ve been battling, but eventually you just get worn out and all you really want to do is go to bed, pull the duvet over your ears, and stay there until you feel better.

I’m trying hard not to escape to the duvet and two cats, and some days I’ve surcomed as migraines, and now a touch of IBS often accompany the depression, and stress.

Making buttons, and jewellery, coasters, and dishes is something I can do at the drop of a hat.  I know I can make very competent and beautiful buttons no matter how I’m feeling, and the clay and my hands know what to do even if the brain is switched to ‘can’t cope’ mode.

What I can’t do is throw.

I’ve tried various crafts, knitting, crochet, sewing, quilting, and all I could do even with depression, infact I’ve knitted through berievements, and sadness and just about everything life throws at you, good and bad.  But throwing is different.

Throwing seems to be connected to your soul via your hands.  If you are having a bad day, then you get bad pots, even a very competent thrower won’t do his or her best work if he or she is having an off day.

It’s much worse if you are still in the throes (no pun intended) of learning even the basics, and it becomes a soul destroying exercise if you just don’t have your head in the right place to begin with.

So the upshot of this is, that with three weeks to go until Yarndale, I’m not sure what thrown work I’ll be bringing, but I will have plenty of other work, and new style buttons and dishes that I didn’t have last year.

So I’m hoping you aren’t disappointed if I can’t get it to all come together on the yarn bowl and other thrown work, but sometimes the elephant is just too darn big.

2 comments

  1. Hi Susan

    ‘The Eagle has landed. Repeat. The Eagle has landed!’ Well, ok, not an Eagle but a Bluebird. Looks even better in real life.
    Can empathise a bit re the depression, since the black dog follows me around ( almost ground to a halt after decreasing medication after only 3 days. Scary ). We need to talk much more about mental health, so kudos for doing so.

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